I have something to say
I feel like I’ve been missing out updating this blog like I should, because really, a lot has happened in my life. A lot of funny things, entertaining things…big things. All because I’ve been angry and sad and feeling sorry for myself.
In any case, I have a job, and although I obviously can’t say what it is, suffice it to say I have some free time. I am unsure as to whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, because I enjoy being able to piddle around, but at the same time I love the work that I do.
Today, while I was waiting on a fax, I was messing around on Fark.com which lead me to Cracked.com. They’re both along the same genre imo, and at least in the same vein of humor. While I was browsing, I came across an article called 7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable.
It’s a really interesting read, and some of the points the guy made really spoke to me, especially. For instance, he mentions that when the emotion of words get stripped away on the internet, they get filtered through our mood. As a result, it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, and if you do a lot of communicating online, like I do, your negative feeling just reaffirms itself over and over again.
He also says that we are feeling worthless because we are, in fact, worth less. Our online friends don’t demand nearly as much from us. It’s a very easy friendship. Not only can you turn the friendship on and off with instant messenger, but you don’t have to worry about them dropping by at random hours, or calling you to help them move apartments or…something.
I rarely post anything about my relationship with my boyfriend on here because he reads this, and I’d rather talk to him directly about things, but we’ve already discussed this. I think this is part of my growing problem with having an online/phone relationship. I can’t call him if I get a flat tire. I can’t do his half of the chores and mine because he’s having a bad day. We can’t spend weekends outside playing with the dogs or weeding the garden. At this point I’d seriously take cleaning the bathrooms with him and think it was the best thing in the world. Yay toilets!
And it’s frustrating, because you can’t do anything for the other person. You can talk to them, but talking only goes so far. I agree with the article in that it’s the ability to physically do things for your loved ones that make you feel like you’re worth something. That is the part that makes a relationship the most fulfilling: the action. I guess maybe that’s where improvisation comes into an LDR: figuring out ways to keep it alive despite the inability to really interact.
In any case, this article really inspired me to do something about the way I feel about my life. I encourage you to read it.
Also, as an aside, I’m on the Topamax again. My long time readers may remember my interesting experience last summer with topamax and the several lovely stories it provided me with…here’s hoping for another eventful, and at the very least entertaining, summer.